its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
