No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
