I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
