i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
