Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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