yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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