I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Found the puke drawer
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
