...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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