Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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