I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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