I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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