I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
