Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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