Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
