Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
