I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
