brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
