AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
