I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
