Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
third nipple confirmed
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize