Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
