Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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