i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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