You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize