I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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