This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
