okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
