My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
