where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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