I think my vagina is haunted
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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