super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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