She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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