Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
