he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
