I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All I want is dick and wine.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize