i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
