I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
