I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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