I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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