I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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