Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
