i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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