barbara walters just said penis...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He has the fingertips of a God
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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