So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
