and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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