she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
