piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
