whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
