After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
