Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
