I seem to have left my pride at pride
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize