Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
