Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
