i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
