She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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