Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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