I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
