I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
